Please welcome guest contributor, Lee Flynn, as he shares and dispels myths about adoptive parents.
For both biological parents and adoptive parents, the process of adoption is quite emotional and overwhelming. There is a lot of data when it comes to length of the adoptive process, resources available to birth mothers, and the total cost of adoption. Listed below are eight of the most common myths about adoptive parents.
Myth #1 – Adoptive Parents cannot love children in the same manner as biological parents
Good parenting is basically a matter of unconditional acceptance, love and consistent nurturing placing children’s needs before everything else. Adoptive parents have the ability to love their children as much as any biological parent. Since it is possible for biological parents to meet adoptive parents and families, birth parents can always witness for themselves how much adoptive parents love their child.
Myth #2 – Adoptive parents think biological parents who give up their children do not take responsibility for their actions
Biological parents may think parenting is:
- the most responsible course of action or
- the consequence of an undesired as well as unplanned pregnancy
These assumptions are all wrong. If biological parents are unsure of their readiness to parent, mostly because of age, a responsible parent:
- explores the infant adoption option for young moms
- and all other available avenues concerning an adoption plan.
Myth #3 – Adoptive parents consider open adoption as a form of co-parenting
An open adoption is not considered a form of co-parenting. It can be a formalized or an informal agreement between the birth parents and the adoptive parents. An open adoption can be incorporated as part of the adoption decree.
This provides the biological parents of a child with:
- the opportunity and possibility to receive updates about the child in the form of photos and such from the adoptive parents;
- flexibility and different levels of involvement, and
- depending on the degree of comfort of both the birth and adoptive parents, attendance at special functions such as baptisms and birthdays.
Myth #4 – Adoptive parents think birth parents who give up their children for adoption have no love for the children
Even though you may think others will judge you, adoption doesn’t mean you are an unloving, uncaring, or selfish parent. Parents and mothers who explore all available options, who make adoption plans or opt for adoption, all have the courage to put the child’s needs first. And, they prove their strength and will in considering the most ideal plan to best meet the child’s needs.
Myth #5 – Adopted Children do not need an adoptive father
Repeated studies have shown that children benefit most from having nurturing, positive parents who can provide proper role models. Self-esteem, relations, and achievement can all be affected in a positive manner when a child develops in a loving home environment, with both parents contributing to that development.
Myth #6 – Adoptive parents think birth parents should move on and forget their child
Making an adoption plan does not mean forgetting your child, which most birth parents never want to do. The experiences one has with their child becomes a part of their being, regardless of the adoption plan opted for.
Myth #7 – Adoptive parents never let birth parents know how the child is doing
Opting for adoption does not mean a birth parent will never know how the child is. Or, whether they made the best choice they could. Today, adoption offers a variety of options enabling both sets of parents to select the adoption plan most suitable for them.
Myth #8 – Adoptive parents think adopted children have more emotional problems compared to other children
As much as you may have heard adopted children have serious issues with relationships, drugs, alcohol, and mental illness, these beliefs are not supported by any research. Adopted kids may have issues related to their identity, but like any other children, most go through adolescence successfully.
These 8 myths about adoptive parents are just that – myths. Moving forward and placing the child’s needs above all else is always the right decision.
Lee Flynn is a freelance writer. Through small local workshops and articles, Lee trains and teaches others on home preparation, healthy living, food storage techniques and self reliance. Follow him on twitter @foodstorage101.
Other posts from Toot Sweet 4 Two archives:
You might also like:
How to Write an Adoption Profile in 9 Easy Steps (infographic from America Adopts)
6 Tips for a Healthy Open Adoption from Susan of My Grace Filled Mess
This post contains affiliate links for your convenience. Click here to read Toot Sweet 4 Two’s full disclosure policy. Need more information about the adoption journey? Here are various books for children and adults on the subject.